Several years ago, I attended one of the Marktplatz festivals to see Jason Boland and the Stragglers, a red dirt country band that has a strong following throughout Texas and Oklahoma. The band has recorded several anthemic regional hits.

After performing one such hit, a gentleman who looked to be the age of perhaps 60-70 approached the stage. Boland stood at the microphone but lent his ear. Based on Boland’s response, I assume the man requested “Silver Wings” or some such tune.

Boland stood up at the microphone and with noticeable irritation said, “Well, that is a good song, but it’s also a Merle Haggard song.”

A faux pas had been committed. Unspoken rules in the music universe clearly suggest, at a feature show, one shall not request a song not performed or recorded by the feature band.

Being a musician and songwriter, I sympathize with Boland, who has worked hard in his life to no longer be a two-legged jukebox to the masses. However, I also sympathize with the two-stepping old-timer who had no idea who Boland was, and simply wanted to dance with his sweetheart.

I am a performing musician myself, although I don’t know that I have a fanbase. I can’t relate to Boland in popularity. But I can relate to him in the strange dynamics that exist between the audience and the stage. And those dynamics are made more interesting due to a common piece of equipment called the tip jar.

A tip jar creates some interesting psychological phenomena between audience and performer. It is an opportunity for a person to express gratitude and admiration. But it is also a small-level business transaction that has taken place. Many people will approach the tip jar, cash in hand, with a song request while displaying the currency to let the performer know they have been temporarily purchased. There are other, shall we say, less wholesome professions that can relate.

When I place a tip jar at my performances, I’m saying I’m open to receiving a little extra praise in the form of cold hard cash. But misunderstandings abound.

To an audience member, the tip jar presents an opportunity to buy my service. So when someone approaches with a $20 and requests I sing “Sweet Caroline” for the third time that evening, they hope I feel some sort of obligation based on the cash.

The tip jar also says something about me as a performer. It communicates I am a performer who requires more income than the simple venue payout. The same is true for restaurant servers who earn only a small portion in hourly wage, but who are expected to make up the difference through tips. In this way, removal of the tip jar is a good indication that a band has “made it” into higher popularity, no longer needing to pander for money.

I suspect Boland’s case, his band is earning several thousand dollars in a contract agreement, likely including provisions, lodging and other amenities. To place a tip jar on the stage would insult the contract.

But in my case, the tip jar is crucial to my income projections and survival.

When the tip jar is at the front of my stage, I’m stating I’m not only employed by the venue, but also by the audience.

That dynamic makes it interesting when a customer flashes a Hamilton and says, “Do you know any Nickelback songs?” and my face contorts to to hide disgust.

I have a fun way to break the tension. I tell tippers they are welcome to take a refund out of the tip jar for my refusal. Nobody has taken me up on this offer yet as I assume they fear crowd judgement. It’s like robbing the homeless.

Most are cool about it all. But for those who seem confused, I will make, what I think, is a fair appeal. Remember when visiting a tip jar, you are first and foremost, expressing appreciation for the performance of the musician.

If you truly want total control of a musician’s performance, book them for a backyard party and get exactly what you want.

If you do feel an inclination to make a song request alongside a tip offering, remember that musicians are not streaming services. We all have our limits. If a musician makes a genuine heartfelt effort to perform the request, then accept it as it is. If the musician cannot honor the request, it is always nice to offer a compliment, whether cash is involved or not.

If a band is performing and no tip jar exists, it’s possible they have been booked on their own credentials and a cover song request may not be appropriate. Not that it’s wrong, but Boland might embarrass you.

brent@fredericksburgstandard.com